Why me?
by ccluvsedward
Summary: Amy is hooked on meth. Her sister is bi nad her mom is crazy. She goes to an out of control party where her sister is smoking pot. Can she stop alison befre it's to late?


_**Chapter 1**_

_**I looked out the window into the gray morning sky. No sleep again. I was way to stoned to sleep. Just one more night without sleep,20 more questions I'd get from my parents on why my eyes were so dark. The cigarettes' I'd smoked last night lay on the floor. Looking back at what had happened I was ashamed . HE had snuck in last night. Of course he only did that because I called and asked him to. None of this would have ever happened if it weren't for John. He had turned me into some kind of meth addicted monster. First it was alcohol addiction. Next after giving up on that I relied only on cigarettes. I still did. But then he showed me a world that at 18 really didn't need to be involved in. Of course any person of any age really shouldn't be involved in but a teenager is just horrible. He'd been on the stuff since he was 14. I heard a knock at the door. Probably mom. "I'm getting dressed." I lied. Here lately I'd gotten pretty good at that. 2 years ago I wouldn't have been able to pull even a little bitty lie like that off. I guess it was because I had to do it a lot. When John used to be over here I'd have to lie to get my mom to go away. Here's a tip don't do drugs. Especially when your parents are at home and you have a crack in your door. Lots of evidence. Very messy. **_

_**"It's not mom. It's your sister. You know the one in collage?" **_

_**"Alison?" "Is that really you?" "It can't be!"**_

_**" It is!" "Hurry up and get this door out of my face!" I ran to the door as fast as I could. Tip 2- Don't do drugs. And if you do don't try to run when your high with a cluttered room like mine. And if your clumsy, well lets just say your screwed. I tripped over 2 stacks of clean clothes that would have be washed again because of the fact that they smelled like smoke and maybe a little puke. Yeah, I know that's gross but that's so true its a little sad. I finally made it to the door. And the very first thing to pop out of her mouth was.. "I'm Bi. And why does it smell like smoke in here?"**_

_Chapter 2_

_**I couldn't answer that question. Wait!! Stop! **_

"_**Did you just say that you were Bi?" "Like in **__**Bisexual**_**?? **

"**Yeah Hun I did." " You know my friend Maggie?" I nodded. "Well over the summer we just develop a lot of feelings toward one another." **

"**Wow!!!" "So you like boobies and stuff now just like a guy would?"**

"**I guess you could put it that way."**

"**Well you're my sister and I love you so I completely support you no matter what." " If you have chose to be a guy completely I would have excepted that." **

"**Well thanks but I don't plan on making any changes to my body."**

"**GOOD!!!" We walked into the room. I was trying to push stuff out of the way. My underwear were very visible in the corner of the room. Oh my god!! I hope Jesse didn't notices those last night. **

"**Did your closet throw up?" Alison asked**

"**Not exactly."**

"**You're hiding something from me." "You can tell me I'm not going to run and go tell mom." "I'm a big girl now honey your secret is safe with me." **

"**Ok I'll tell you." My heart started to pounded. Boom boom!! It was filling the sound in my ears. I couldn't think straight. Of course I couldn't I was still high in some ways or all that really wasn't my concern right now. " I've done something that I shouldn't have done."**

"**Well are you going to tell me what happened that was so horrible?" **

**At that very moment everything came flooding out. I told her about how John got me addicted and how I thought he loved me. Told me that he did. And god knows he touched me like he did. No we'd never went that far, but we've came really, really close. I told her about the drinking and how I was a changed person. I even told her something that I'd never told anyone before. Something I didn't even want to think about. But I did it and I laughed about it. I started cutting myself. At one point I dressed in all black. Black nails, black hair, black clothes. Everything about me was black even my heart. I didn't care at that point. I rolled up my sleeve to my neon pink, green, and orange shirt to show only pale skin. Flipping my arm around you could see the pale pink markings that were just scars to remind me of the past. That's all they were they were there to make me feel horrible. Though they weren't visible from a stand point they would always be there and I would just have to deal with that. The worst part of it is that when I did that I wasn't even high. I 'd never started that yet nor had a thought about it. No I was still the girly girl. But then suddenly I just had a debilitating crash that left me shattered like a glass bottle of Brandi. When I stated wearing black my mom was scared I told her nothing was wrong with me but she started her crap. And then I had just had enough. I found a razor blade and the teeth just slid across my arm leaving a trail of red syrup like liquid behind. When I did it the first time I started to scream, but after that I just laughed. Nothing hurt ever hurt. Then after I finally told myself "Amy you have to stop this." "Your hurting yourself, your gonna screw your life up." "STOP". I did finally stop when I got a nasty infection under the skin. I thought I was going to have to tell my mom about it. But I finally got it cleared up after 3 weeks of agony, I never cut myself again. I turned to alcohol to take all of my sorrow away. But it started getting kind of obvious to my mom and step dad. That was probably a bad idea from the get go because Michel used to be an alcoholic. He knew what I had been doing. So one night when mom had went out to the store he sat me down do had a talk with me. He said that if I wanted to ruin my life by just drinking all my problems away then to be his guest. But when I got sober again all those problems would still be there and plus some. I finally took that in. I didn't the first time because I was like really drunk. I kept trying not to crack up during the speech. Then he finally figured out that I was drunk he gave me the same speech over again until it finally made sense. Then I found one more thing that I could get addicted to which was nicotine. And then of course came the meth and crank and pot whatever. When that was done……Wait it's still going. I hadn't came down from the drug yet. I was in like the last state of it but was still by terms high. Well I can't do any thing about it now. I huddled into my sister and started to cry.**

**Chapter 3**

**Alison stared at me for a long time. I knew that probably meant that she was still trying to process it all. Take it all in. I'd told her things that I didn't want to tell myself. I could only hope she'd keep her word on not telling mom. If she did mom would put me into therapy and keep an over protective eye on me, which is not that necessary. "Ok so you're still on drugs, you still smoke, and you still drink occasionally?" "Am I correct?" Unfortunately she was very correct. Nothing in which she'd just said was wrong in any way shape or form. "Yes you're correct" I told her unwillingly. "What do you think of me now?" "You probably think I'm some kind of psychopathic freak, don't you?" **

"**No." "I think I need to get you some Advil and let you go to sleep." **

"**I really wanted to do something with you ." " I wanted to hang out." **

"**We'll have plenty of time to hang out , I promise you that much" "You won't tell mom anything will you?"**

"**No I promise."**

"**Ok." she walked out of the room. 2 minutes later she was back with a small green pill and a glass of water. I took the pill, and she told me I need to lay down and get some rest. I did exactly that. My whole body went into hibernation mode and it felt like I was asleep forever. Then I was awoken by a lot of shaking. "Honey, It's just me Alison." "You need to get up." **

"**What time is it?" I asked knowing that my words were coming out very slur. **

"**It's about 4:30 in the afternoon." **

"**Meaning I've been asleep for how long?"**

"**About 30 hours." **

"**What!!!!!!!!"**

"**Yeah you've been asleep since 10:30 yesterday morning." **

"**Wow!!" "How did I manage to get past dinner?" **

"**Mom and Michel went out at about 3:30 for some kind of business trip." "She said she told you about it." I tried to think back. Oh wait it was Tuesday of last week when she told me. **

" **Yeah she did." **

"**Yeah she never came back last night." "So I just let you sleep." "But she just called and said that she's about an hour from home so I suggest you get your butt up and look like you've been awake or you know you're gonna get questioned."**

"**Yeah I guess your right." I climb slowly out of bed. Wait. There used to be a huge pile of clothes right here. Where did they go?**

"**Oh yeah I did some cleaning in here." "I hope you don't mind." **

" **No but you really shouldn't have." "Thanks so much." "Hey I'll take you out to dinner tonight my treat." **

" **Ok." "Cool." I ran over to the closet, anxious to hang out with Alison tonight. I finally found some cute jeans and a pink tank and see though white shirt. I brush my hair and put it in a pony tail, and then slip into my converse. I ran down stairs just as fast as my clumsy feet could take me. Just then the phone ran. Alison must have gotten it. "Hey Amy, somebody named Jesse is on the phone for you." **

"**Coming!!!!!!" I really ran now. "Hello?"**

"**Hey beautiful."**

"**Hey what's up?"**

"**Nothing." "Hey Scott's having a party tonight you wanna go?" **

" **Um, no I'm hanging out with my sister."**

"**So bring her."**

"**I don't really think she'd wanna go."**

"**Well why don't you ask her."**

"**It's rude."**

"**How is that rude?"**

"**She just got home from collage I don't think she's gonna wanna go to some teenage stoner's party."**

"**Sure I will!!" "I love parties!!"**

"**Alison you don't have to." **

"**But I want to."**

"**Fine." "What time is the party?" **

"**Starts at 9:00"**

"**Ok." "We'll be there"**

"**Cool."**

"**Bye"**

"**Bye" I closed my eyes and sighed. I really didn't want to go to this party. But if that's what Alice wanted than I was up for anything.**

" **Oh this is going to be so much fun!!"**

"**Yeah."**

"**You don't sound very excited."**

"**I am still waking up."**

"**Oh hey so where do you wanna go to eat at?"**

"**I was think something like Chinese food." "Like that little restaurant down town that you used to love."**

"**Ok, yeah I been craving that stuff."**

"**Go get your jacket and we'll go." She ran off in the other direction. Just then I heard mom pull up in that old Silverado. We'd had it forever. I know since I was like 5. She came though the door and smiled. "Hi!" she said sounding like really excited to see me. Like she hadn't seen me in forever. Alison was the one she should be excited to see. She ran over and hugged me tightly. That is until Alison walked in the room. I saw mom give Alison a terrible glare then look back at me. "Where are you goin?"**

"**Um, Alison and me were going to go out to eat then going to a party."**

"**Oh, ok well have fun Amy."**

"**Ok" I turned back t Alison and nodded towards the door. We walked out into the cold evening air. "Ok, what was that all about?" I asked. Mom had been really rude to Alison back there and I didn't appreciate it at all. **

"**I told her too."**

"**Told her what?"**

"**Told her I was bi.'**

"**Oh"**

"**She's see gay and bi's very unholy." "Like we worship the devil or something." "She said she'd raised me better than that and that all this was just a phase." " I told her that it wasn't and that she needed to calm down." " She said that what I was is completely against the bible and god's word." "Then she grab her bible and headed down stairs to read it I guess." I looked at Alison. I could see tears welding up behind her eyes. She looked out the window before they could start to stream down her face. "I'm I really that bad of a person just because of that?"**

"**No." "You are far from being a bad person." "Don't think that way, you know how mom gets." " She'll get over herself, you just watch." I kept my eyes on the road because I knew that Alison probably wouldn't appreciate me looking at her right now it wasn't a very good time for my puppy dog face that always used to make her laugh. She was looking out the car window now. She stared blankly into the sky as we headed downtown. Hopefully she'd cheer up when we got to the restaurant. I could only hope at this point. Until we pulled in she never said another word. I was almost ready to ask if she didn't want to go to this dumb party tonight. But that's when she finally said, " Man, I really need this party tonight." " The campus we have at collage has so many freaking officers that it's nearly impossible to throw a party. " "They will arrest you believe me!!!" We started laughing at that . We walked in to be greeted by 2 Chinese women trying to push one another out of the way just to get us seated. When they finally stopped fighting we where seated in a booth near the back. I really don't know why those women where fighting over us, because the place was slammed! I have never seen that many people there in my life. Just then a funny looking women came up to us and asked what we wanted to drink. She had dark brown hair, and I couldn't tell if she'd made her hairdresser mad or if she meat for it to be greasy and trampy looking. I hated it for her because she looked like she was having a serious hangover right now and really didn't want to be here in this joint downtown. She probably got called in because the place was so packed. Or that's just my guess really. Oh well, it really wasn't my business anyway. She came back about 3 minutes later carrying 2 glasses of dark brown liquid. **

"**Here's your 2 Dr. Pepper's" she said trying her best to smile. "Do you guys know what you would like to eat yet or do you need a couple more minutes?" **

**I looked at Alison to see if she was ready to order. Obviously she was because she was the first to start speaking.**

"**Um, I would like the egg drop soup with sesame chicken and chow mieng." **

"**Ok, and for you Miss?"**

" **Um, I guess I'll have the same."**

"**Ok it should be out in a couple of minutes."**

"**Thanks."**

**I looked at Alison for a long time. Her golden hair hung in her face. When she lifted head her green eyes starred at me. I studied her for a long time. Her skinny body only curving in the necessary places. She was very pretty. Beautiful. And to think that she went all lesbian almost kinda creeped me out for a second there. I shook the image from my head and decided to try to start a conversation while we waited for our food. **

"**So how's school going?"**

"**Um, ok I guess."**

"**What do you mean by that?" "Is there something your not telling me?"**

"**No. Well sort of but I know what your thinking, oh god she's quit school."**

"**No I wasn't thinking that at all." That was a complete lie. I really was thinking that.**

"**And I guess I kinda did." "I mean I'm just talking them online and later on in the evening instead of getting up at like 6:00 in the morning." "And I don't even have to get dressed , just sit there in my pj's doing online classes." "It's a lot easier."**

"**I bet." this conversation lasted about 10 minutes before the waitress came with our food. We ate and continued to talk while we walked to the car. We mostly talked about her life. She loved to talk about her girlfriend. As she babbled on I just smiled and nodded every so often. Next stop the dreaded party. Crap. **

**Chapter4 **

**You this is exactly what my life has become……..**

OVERLOADYou told me you loved me,Did you ever truly care?Blowing fancy rings of meth,Making smoky halos around my I am no angel,For I am the exact opposite.A monster for getting hooked on meth,And not being strong enough to quit. So now that my life if down the drain,I might as well bend my now alcohol is the one other thingI do to pass the time. I now realize in the beginning,I really didn't have problems at things that everyone has,Never caused my downfall. So now that my life is down the tubes,I might as well tryTo take the blade down my skin, And have the illusion that I can fly. No one knows my secrets,They can never know,Because they'll try to stop me,Or they';; force me to go. But then my sister confides in tells me that she's bi. She's in love with a co-worker,And I feel I'm going to cry. Finally! I'm not the only oneWith a secret that must be I confide in her as she did with me?Or is it something she'll not accept?All the thoughts in my mindJumble together in overloadAs I take a sip and blow smoke from my lips.I carry the razor up my arms,Laughing all the .Overload... _by iluvtopazeyes (thanks) _

**That's exactly it isn't it? I know it is. You know it is. I'm starting to come off of the drug. Slowly but surely. I know I said that early but its true this time. I'm sweating my brains out. This is bad. I'll either one of the following or both **

**1. I'll be all moody like I'm on my period **

**Or**

**2. I'll crash out on the couch and sleep for 30 frekin hours again.**

**Then I realize that I'm completely screwed. Crap. Double crap. I 'm in desperate for fuel for my car or we're going to be flinstoning this big ol' thing. So I find a gas station and got gas. I buy a bottle of Advil because I can tell I've got a serious headache coming on. I go back out to the car and then it hits me that Scott just moved and I have no clue where his house is.**

"**Crap!!!!"**

"**What?"**

"**I don't know where the heck Scott's new house is."**

"**Not good."**

"**Yea. Let me call Jesse and get directions." I got my phone out of my pocket and dialed Jesse's number. It rung 4 times. Sadly there was no answer. I turned to Alison with a blank expression.**

" **Um, Alison?"**

"**Yea?"**

"**Jesse's not answering his phone and I have no idea who else is going to this party."**

"**Oh, well do you know anywhere else we could go because I really don't want to go home and face devil woman." "God, I bet she's clinging to her bible as we speak."**

"**Probably." I said smiling. I had to think and fast. The mall was open. But I really wasn't in any mod for a shopping spree. Plus I didn't have any money. I just got fired for my job at the local teen hangout restaurant downtown for sleeping on the job. **

"**Um I really don't know anywhere honey." "I'm sorry."**

"**Oh it's okay." Just then my phone rung. I looked at the caller id. It was Jesse. Dang. I was stuck. I could look Alison in the eye and tell a big huge dirty lie just for not wanting to go. Then having to see her hurt when we went back to the house. I could lie to a lot of people but I was incapable of lying to Alison.**

"**Hello?"**

"**Hey, did you call?"**

"**Yea. I don't know where Scott's house is at." Again another 10 minutes for directions and some occasional flirting. I laughed and Alison laughed like she knew what he was saying to me. As he told me where the house was at, I knew where it was at exactly. Like faith. I hated faith right now. It hated me too I could tell. **

"**Do you know where it's at?" Alison asked with a huge smile spreading across her face.**

"**Um, yea I do."**

"**Awesome!!!" "We're going to go, right?"**

"**Right." I put the key in the ignition. The car roared to life. I looked towards the road once again. I had sleep on my mind and sleep is what I wanted it's what I needed it's what I had to have. But right now not the first thing of my mind. I was close to drugs, people with drugs and I would go to great lengths to get what I wanted. **

**Chapter 5**

**We drove in silence to Scott's house. We pulled in the driveway at a quarter till 9:00. We had a couple minutes till the party actually started but Jesse was already here so I figured I go ahead inside. I knocked on the door and Shana greeted me with a smile. Shana was my best friend in the whole world. We'd been close for as long as I could remember. **

"**Hey Ams!!:" she said her jet black hair shining in the light.**

"**Come on in!!!" I heard Scott call. We stepped inside. The house was bigger on the inside than it looked on the out. Of course Scott's father was a doctor so they had always had nice places. **

"**Hey." "Who's that?" Scott said coming into view.**

" **This is my sister Alison." "Alison Scott, Scott Alison."**

"**Hi." Scott was giving my sister THE stare. The one that he gave all the pretty girls at school. The ones that later became his girlfriends. **

"**Hi." I could tell that Alison was flirting with him maybe tonight she would realize that she was straight maybe not. I really didn't care. Within 25 minutes the place was packed and smelled of cold hard drugs. Nothing else at least not to me. Alison hung out with Scott most of the night. But looking over Jesse's head (who was kissing my neck at the time.) I saw my worst nightmare. Alison and Scott smoking pot. Great more questions. Great. Crap. We're both screwed. Time to go. NOW!!!! **


End file.
